...my emotions...
Wednesday, January 30, 2008 4:36 PM
i don't know what im really going to say..it's just that i wanted to be alone...to be off with my friends...and even don't want to attend classes. all i wanted is to be alone...it's just that im hurt, depressed and being fooled. it seems that life is so really unfair...why it's like that?... i am a good person,and don't want to mess up other people. i want to see things beautiful and pleasant to my eyes..but why is it like that?you make others happy but then they will exchange it to you which is something bad... :( im hurt..really hurt.
i want to tell a short story that happened lately in my life...it is a love life matter...
for you, what is love? how can you define love? for me, love is undefined,it's the feeling that matters..when you feel a strange feeling to that person especially when you looked at him in his eyes, you feel that spark, you always missed him, and even being comfortable to say your feelings or whatever you wanted to say which lead to trusting him...this is what I feel about LOVE....
but how can you know if that someone really loves you?....is it, his sincerity of saying sweet words especially when your together? is it the promises that he has given you?, or is it the 3 sweet letter words that was really important?
I'm confused about this because someone made me realized that all of these are true...he's a friend of mine since we're in high school..i have shared my stories with him, the laughters, the pain and the sorrows..I trust him because he's my friend. until we get attached with each other.but the thing is he has a girlfriend.i know it was really wrong and i hide my feelings with him.until one day he said he end up with her girlfriend.then he said he has feelings for me too.all the way he make me believed that all of these are true but the fact was not.. i thought he love me..but he's not. along the way he fooled me...we had a relationship.i thought i will be happy with him but along in our relationship he came back with his girl..i don't know his reasons why he did it to me...i thought he can't hurt my feelings, that he already knew me, that my shared stories are enough for him to know me..i was fooled...im hurt, broken into tiny pieces and for that it takes time for me to be whole again...
why it happened to my life?...it's so unfair...all i wanted is to be loved, but why they have the guts to do this in every woman who loves sincerely and seriously?..it really takes time again to be in love, to be complete, and to be whole again..and this time i want to be sure that someone really loves me too...i don't want to be fooled again.Im hurt, broken, and was fooled...:(
